the mystery that is santa

The mystery that is Santa by Brian Seabury

Sally. A rambunctious 9 year old ran down stairs. She had decided in a spark of inspiration that Santa didn't want cookies. This admittedly seemed strange to her at first. However, Sally realized that he had to eat like a billion cookies a year. Even if he managed to lose the weight which she realized he didn't because he's always festively fat. He had to be sick of eating cookies every year. She had to talk to her mom.

(This is a footnote.) Her mom explained that festively met that it was something done to match the time of year, so if Santa was festively fat. It was because the jolliness of santa being fat was part of the season.*

"Mom, Mom, I want to put celery out for Santa", Sally said.

"But you said you wanted cookies an hour ago" Her mom said

" But what if Santa doesn't want cookies If he doesn't want them. Why am I leaving them out for him?" Sally said.

" I thought you thought Santa would appreciate me cooking the cookies and now you don't want them" Her mom said.

" Sorry, It didn't occur to me" Sally said.

Sally Mom's looks at sally questioningly, but not as if she necessarily wanted to hear what she had to say. Merely out of surprise at the turn of events.

" Why doesn't Santa want cookies?" Sally's Mom said

"Well you know, Santa is fat right.", said sally

" Yes,Santa is fat." said Sally's mom

"He eats a ton of cookies every year, they must make him sick." said sally

"But sally, Santa burns off the cookies by going up the chimney. If he didn't he would weigh a ton", sally's mom said

" I guess that's true, but he's still fat." said Sally

" I don't think he minds, he eats a lot of cookies. Considering that, he's actually quite thin.", said sally's mom.

"But he must get sick of eating all those cookies, if he eats so many", said Sally.

"Yes but if we didn't put out cookies... never mind" said sally's mom.

"Santa would die, He'd be too thin.", said Sally.

"No Sally, You don't go delivering presents and do that much exercise without having a lunch packed.", said Sally's Mom

"Well but we don't want to 2impose on mrs claus", said Sally

2 is a footnote it can be skipped and it shouldn't affect the enjoyment of the story.

2* to impose means to make something happen to someone they wouldn't want to happen to them. Mrs Claus wanted Santa to eat the lunch, but here Sally is trying to say that by forcing Santa to eat their plate of Cookies, they would be stopping Santa from eating Mrs Claus cookies. Sally is assuming when Santa eats their cookies that Mrs Claus wouldn't want this because she wants Santa to eat her lunch. 2*

" I think Mrs Claus just hopes Santa's ok. It doesn't matter if he eats the lunch or not.", said Sally's Mom

" But it must be some lunch. It must weigh tons. It has to be more than billions of cookies. He needs a refrigerator."

"Hmm, well maybe, Santa isn't just eating Mrs Claus' lunch" said Sally's Mom

" That would mean Santa would have to actually go to restaurants", said Sally.

"And that's why their are mall Santa's" said Sally's mom.

"Of course, the perfect cover", said sally.

"So what should we do about the cookies?", said Sally's mom.

"Brownies.",said Sally.

"How about one brownie, singular." said Sally's mom

"Ok" said Sally.